Growing up watching the younger years pass you by. Lost in the shadows, chasing dreams of what could be. Wishing for rewinds, but time just won’t comply. Rewinding my choices, I am left with regret that won’t deny. My mistakes left scars but, I’ll still reach for the stars. I wish I could turn back time. However, in the depths of despair I’ll find the will to climb. 

I long to just be carefree. Thinking back on nights of youth, wishing I could see all the things that I could be. Seeing the world for the first time. Now, I’m just living in a haze caught up in a web of ‘what if’s’ that follow me. If I could just remember who I was, now life ain’t what it seems things used to be so easy. Adulting is hard. I may have lost my way, but I will no longer disregard. Adulthood leaves me deeply scared but, all I can do is to cross this line and claim for what is mine. I reminisce on my carefree life that once defined me. Things aren’t so breezy feeling the weight of choices. Feeling hopeless almost giving up on dreams. Many paths were not taken. In the shadows of regret, my heart aches I’m forsaken. So, I look to my past for my future. A chance to look back on the things that I love. 

And I remember when I was young and it was funny. I did not have to worry about money. Life was so bittersweet. I close my eyes and dream of brighter days ago. Holding on to memories. I search through my memories a map to my destiny because I am still unsure of my true calling. I used to think I had it all. I recall the moments where my dreams seemed unstoppable. I miss the days when I stood tall and felt invincible. I miss the innocence, the laughter, and those carefree days. I was happy and felt at home. I am not who I used to be. I still feel like a child at heart but, I have to keep on moving to find the place where I belong. 

And now some of my friends have turned their backs on me. Good ones have left and others don’t care. Now, I am lost in the dark and life feels unfair. Stumbling upon the unknown I wish I could unwind the fall. I will rise above it all, and break through life’s wall. I know I am not alone I have to keep my head up high. I roam through, trying to find my way. I will rewrite my story and find the light again. I have to be strong to face the world around me. I need to reach for what I believe in in order to make it on my own. I will be ready to settle down no one will ever tell me what to do.

I will rewind the clock and seize the days that flew by. It’s time to take back my youth. I’ll rewrite the past, let regrets fade away in truth. Growing up is hard to do but, I will conquer my fears and embrace life’s challenges. I’ll awaken my soul, find harmony in life’s balances.

Tracie Sperling

Tracie Sperling is 32 years old, from Falls Church, VA. She is an entrepreneur and has had her own business since January 2019 called COB Abstractart (which stands for Creativity Outside The Box). Tracie started writing poetry in her free time as an escape outlet. Last year, she had her first e-book published called “Astounding Poetry” by SparkPress.